Today I want to talk about something I know that a lot of single Muslim women over 30 experience and that is being ignored, overlooked or cast aside by family members or the community

I remember years ago I was only 29, we were at a family gathering. At this gathering was a couple with two daughters. One was 18 and one was 20. They were honestly absolutely lovely, charming, sweet girls and I can see why anyone would have wanted them as part of their family. The group of ladies I was sitting with consisted of these girls and a few aunties. Suddenly one aunty piped up about a match she knew of. He was in his 30s and looking to get married. My ears pricked up! But instead of turning to me  she literally leaned forward and started talking to the two younger girls. 

I felt my cheeks flush, my stomach twisted and my eyes started to prickle. Maybe my reaction sounds a bit dramatic but that’s because it wasn’t simply about her offering the proposal to the two younger girls. It was about the way I was becoming increasingly invisible to people who had proposals. I felt like the bottle of milk with the shorter sell by date that you push aside as you root in the back for the bottle with the longer expiry date.

The thing is I wasn’t just invisible to aunties with proposals I was also invisible to married people my age!

Another time I was at a family Eid event and sat in between two women who were about my age who had recently got married. They literally talked over my head about married life, how great it was and what they each liked to cook for their husbands. I couldn’t join in in any way, I didn’t even know where to look (smartphones and IG were not a thing back then) so I just sat there feeling like  an invisible nobody.

The problem is that our communities treat women  like meat . In your 20s you’re prime beef. Every wedding you go to is an opportunity for potential mother-in -laws to scope you out or for aunties to make purposeful introductions. After 30 you’re treated like the meat at the back of the freezer that everyone forgot was there.

This is why I am so 100% committed to empowering and elevating single Muslim women over 30. You are absolutely amazing and you have every chance of findinging the love and marriage you deserve.  

You have so much to offer your future spouse and bring to a marriage. You’re highly skilled and successful. The skills you utilise in your job at work every day are transferable to your marriage. Your kindness, tact and diplomacy are exactly what a healthy marriage needs. You have life experience, and you are worldly, you don’t see the world in black and white, you can listen to and respect other points of view and arrive at a compromise. You are financially stable and savvy. You’re not a gold digging child looking to spend all your husband’s hard earned money.You have your own money and you know how to budget , save and invest. Honestly sometimes I feel so proud of my single sisters over 30 that I could burst! 

I promise you that there is someone out there who is looking for someone just like you. Step out of the shadows, shine bright and let the world know you are here!

Ready to feel seen and heard in your journey to marriage?

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